Guide For Giving Gifts to Guys

Oh, uhh, you bought me the Twilight Series.  Umm, so I guess when I told you that I hate glittery vampires, you took that to mean please buy me four books about glittery vampires?
Alt-Text: You got me an iPhone?! Cool! There’s an app for figuring out the tip at a restaurant! Oh wait, that’s just a calculator.